Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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