so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize