Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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