if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
