my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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