You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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