I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
