I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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