you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
