Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The uberlube is also flammable
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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