Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
