I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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