i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
