guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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