What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
