So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
