If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
