matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
