If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
