I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
third nipple confirmed
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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