my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
