We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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