The maid of honor just puked.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
