she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
ok first of all what the fuck
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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