thus making me awesome and them whores
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
