Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
