but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
