We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
