How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
