look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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