I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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