it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
