We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
