I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
