Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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