SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
