Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
