let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
honey bunches of taint.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
