small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
