pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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