you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
