Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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