If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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