You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
