my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
