My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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