After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
