Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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