Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
