what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize