Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There r osticjed everywhere
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize