Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize