problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
50% drunk capacity currently
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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