My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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