me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
