Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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