toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
