No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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