I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
