I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You are the jesus of drinking
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
