I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
