Well apparently he's into motor boating.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
