I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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