yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
